Adventures in Ass-sitting

Today, feeling overly tired and lacking my usual zip-zippy giddy-up-osity fantasticness, I drank me some caffeine in the form of a steaming cup of chai tea. I remembered that it was something of a smash hit a couple of years back, and I couldn't really resist buying it, what with Trader Joe's fantastically reasonable prices and my sleepy, suggestionable state.

After tasting it, I gotta say I don't see what all the fuss was about. Perhaps I prepared it incorrectly?


I used about half a gallon of milk filling up my charmingly oversized mug.
I'll just triple the ingredients!

The recipe calls for three teaspoons of the chunky, brown, powdery stuff, but it's not clear if the green scoopy thing hidden within the mix holds one or three teaspoons.
I'll just use two and a half scoops. What's the worst that could happen? It's too delicious?

Oops! I accidentally dumped a bunch of it all over myself and the counter!
Scrape scrape scrape...into the mug...

Yucko, this tastes sour.
Must not be hot enough. Back into the microwave!

Hmm...still not very good..
Just add sugar! Lots and lots of sugar.

Ugh...I don't feel so good.
DRINK!!!

The powdery stuff is embedded in my shirt and the overwhelming smell of undiluted chai is making me vomitous.
Oofah!

I don't like chai.
Put it way back in the cupboard next to the oatmeal!

Now what?
TV!

But I'm still thirsty.
Beer?

Yes.