My own Plans

That piercing sound in your ear isn't a physical affliction you're suffering - it's my neighbor. He's a cute little Latino kid, about three years old. We don't know his name. We call him Screamy.

At first, we were afraid we'd have to call the cops for domestic abuse, but we've learned that it's just his mode of communication. When we pass him on the stairs, he waves and screams us a friendly "HI!".

Lately, things have been quieter. Maybe it's because his brothers and sisters are in school now and aren't stimulating him to the point of verbal fits, maybe his mother slips a mickey into his apple juice. Maybe it's because I've started blaring music during the day - "Death Cab for Cutie".

I think they get the message.