Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain picks Hargitay for Veep

GOP hopeful promises to bring Law and Order to nation

In a surprise announcement, Senator John McCain announced today that he has chosen television celebrity Mariska Hargitay to be his running mate.

Hargitay is best known for her tough stance on crimes which are considered to be especially heinous. McCain said that he welcomed Hargitay's record and extensive experience seeking justice as an actress.

“I’ve looked for the best to help me shake up Washington,” said McCain. "No longer will pages and interns have to live in fear of the perverted old white guys who want to instant message and touch them."

McCain's decision marks only the second time in history that a woman has been submitted for nomination as a vice presidential candidate.

It's also the second time in this election campaign that a character from one of NBC's Law and Order many television series has been considered for executive office. Fred Thompson dropped out of the race to be the Republican presidential nominee after it became clear he could never win, because most Americans thought he was even less attractive than Vincent D'Onofrio.

Political pundits are lauding McCain for choosing a female running mate and are speculating that his recent meetings with rapper Ice-T may indicate he will ask the prominent African American to help him create the position of Secretary of Money, Power, Women.