Entertainment Today

So, tonight my eye was drawn to an article on Yahoo about Lindsay Lohan. Poor Lindsay was injured while "breakfasting at the house of Bryan Adams." She apparently did so as she "stepped out of the shower". Is this the same Bryan Adams who sang on the Prince of Thieves soundtrack? I'm not confusing him with Ryan Adams, right? He's the sucky one, right?

How is Bryan Adams getting action from young, hot actresses? As gross as it was, the whole Jack Nicholson/Lara Flynn Boyle thing was somewhat understandable because Jack is cool and Lara isn't really all that hot. But this? Bryan Adams? Really?


On an unrelated note, how many of you think Rj is a punk for the Comment Authorization bullshit he's put on his blog? Was my comment really that inappropriate, Rj? Everyone but Rj can comment on this post.

The answer is a resounding "Yes"

Click this

Back at church early on a Sunday morning

Well, not really. Instead, I get up at ass-early on Sunday mornings to go into the WorldTalkRadio station to produce some shows. I like the first one -- it's all about horse racing. I like to imagine that I'll learn enough about horses to bet well at the track. The second one is not quite my cup of tea -- dating advice for men. At least it gets tons of callers, and I keep pretty busy throughout the whole thing.

This last show, though...this is a special hell reserved only for me. It's a husband and wife duo who talk about spiritual matters. Specifically, God's views on the current state of the nation. She receives messages from God and relates them to their listeners. Most of the time, God is pissed off at Bush. The husband looks like Bill Murray and sounds like someone else I recognize but can't place. He hypnotizes his audience in the third segment. Right now, he's breathing too heavily into the microphone. They're kinda new to the whole radio thing, so I cut them some slack. Or at least I would, except that I have to listen to this with way too little sleep. I think this is God's revenge on me for not attending church and tithing anymore.

They've started singing along with the closing music when they end their shows.

I hate Sundays.

I need help

I am applying for an internship with "This American Life", a radio show broadcast from Chicago's public radio station WBEZ. This program is the reason I wanted to get into broadcast journalism, and working for them would be something beyond my wildest dreams. Yet, I still dare to dream, and in fact, I desperately want to get it. So, I'm working on my application to make myself as attractive as possible. Easy, right? I need help.

The application is remniscent of U of C's in that it requires some creativity. I'm ok for most of it, but there is one thing that's giving me some trouble. I'm supposed to write about three shows or segments that didn't work as well as others. I have one. It's incredibly difficult for me to remember radio pieces that are unremarkable. I think everyone remembers the really good ones, but aren't we supposed to forget the bad ones?

The only ones I can think of to write about are ones that were compiled on a "This American Life" feature cd. Obviously, they liked them if they put them on the damn cd, so I can't pick those. I'm spending hours scouring the archives, listening to old broadcasts wherever I can pick up a free wireless internet signal. I know that some of you must listen to the show (ahem, Kristy). Do you have any suggestions for less-than-stellar shows or segments I should check out? I eagerly await any suggestions. Meanwhile I'll be sitting in random coffee houses with my humongous headphones on, laughing (and then cursing) at things only I can hear.

Two thoughts on the Alito hearings

First of all, Alito's wife left the senate hearings in tears today after her husband was asked some difficult questions. Read all about it here.

I just want to say, "FUCKING SUCK IT UP, BITCH!" No, that's not what I want to say. Not completely.

I mainly want to point out how funny it is to me that the Republican senator chastised the Democrats in such a passive-aggressive manner. "Tut, tut. I sure do wish your wife didn't have to go through all this 'a here ruckus. If only certain members of the senate would just go away, we could all vote you in and then go back to your house for your wife's famous pot roast." That's an actual quote, by the way. He then slapped the stenographer on the ass.

Secondly, I just want to say that Sen. Edward Kennedy is my hero. Sure, what he said may not lead to anything substantial, but he gave me so much hope. Although, if Ratzinger can be made fucking Pope after having been a Nazzy, then I guess Alito might survive as a confirmed racist/chauvenist.

Sports Superstar

I've considered all sorts of alternate sports to try out so that I won't ever have to play basketball. Yesterday I bought a skateboard to improve my balance so that surfing won't definitely kill me. In the past I've played ultimate frisbee, ping-pong, and hackeysack. One that I wish I could do is free running (or Parkour for those in the know). Free running is just a bunch of hooligans running around doing crazy things like jumping off of incredibly high walls onto fire hydrants, somersaulting all the while. If I ever got in shape, I'm pretty sure I could get good at it. Yeah right. Oh well. At least I'm already better than this guy.

Oh yeah and belated congratulations to Scott on his engagement

Not many of you might know this, but I don’t intend to remain an assistant biosafety coordinator (a.k.a. janitor) all my life. I know I’d have to be crazy to give up this heady, hedonistic, hazardous lifestyle with its huge paychecks and fast women, but it just doesn’t inspire any hope in me for a bright and fulfilling future. Journalism, though – now there’s a field I could really see myself enjoying!

Specifically, I want to get into radio journalism. All those years of listening to This American Life and wishing I could be Jonathan Goldstein and Sarah Vowell and Ira Glass have sufficiently addled my brain enough to the point that I now believe I am Jonathan Goldstein and Sarah Vowell and Ira Glass and it’s a big party in here listening to swingin’ hits and discussing sound levels. I’m not David Sedaris, though; he is gay, and I am not gay. So, it’s either therapy or actually pursuing the field so that I can move the party out of my dreams and into my (car?) Also, I can’t afford therapy. Otherwise I’d SO be there.

I’ve slowly taken steps to ensure I reach the goal. How slowly? Well, I put off applying for grad school till next year, I’ve barely used the expensive recording equipment I couldn’t afford but bought anyway, and I’ve interviewed a handful of people without actually doing anything with the interviews afterward. On the other hand, I have made some steps: I illegally downloaded some editing software, I’m interning at a talk radio station, and I began this blog. Believe it or not, this blog was supposed to be a means for me to practice my writing and to publish audio pieces. Now, I’m a just shy of a year with this thing, and I’ve used it mainly to bitch about the minutia of my daily life.

WELL NO MORE! I hereby vow that I will shortly begin posting shitty little pieces that I’ve cobbled together using a decrepit minidisk recorder and a second-rate microphone (not the nice one Kevin lent me). Prepare to be underwhelmed by my inept interviewing abilities as I talk to people about their boring lives! Actually, that’s not fair; their lives are far more exciting than mine. COMING SOON: JED’S EXCITING INTRODUCTION TO THE WORLD OF RENAISSANCE FAIRES!

In other news, I’ve taken over engineering responsibilities for a couple of shows at the radio station. I’ve got a show called “The Writers’ Roundtable” on Wednesday mornings (barring the return of the guy who used to do it), and I’ll soon be taking over some shows on Sunday mornings. They are, respectively: a show about horse-racing, an advice hour for men on dating women, and a program in which a woman relays the personal messages God sends her about politics (God hates Bush, by the way). Tomorrow’s a big day for the Writers’ Roundtable – Anne Rice is joining us in the studio. I’ve never read anything by her, but I still look forward to meeting her. Is that lame? You can listen live 9-11 am PT at www.worldtalkradio.com. You won’t hear anything from me, though. I’m just the guy who sits behind the glass hoping to God he doesn’t mess up the microphone levels.

Daily WTF?!!

Link

She'll probably be comfortable sleeping in the car

I killed a spider in our apartment this morning.















I usually like to catch them and release them outside.
















I only kill them when I'm scared of them.
















I told Megan it wasn't a Black Widow.




















But it was...















Heh heh heh