More Googling

One Google result that I find fascinating can be found here. If you look closely at his "Helgarlok" post, you see meatsweats mentioned. I just know this bastard's talking about me.

Numbero Uno

I mean Numero Uno.

Because I am self-obsessed, I discovered today that Googling "meatsweats" brings up my blog for the first two entries. Woo hoo! That'll probably boost readership by oh, let's say one person. Perhaps this means that I should really work to make this blog that much better. After all, this is the place they're gonna come when they want the skinny on flesh-induced perspiration. We'll see...

A side note:
Thankfully, extensive Googling of the term "ass-mud" has yet to bring up any mention of Meat Sweats.

Cubs Virus - Contract It !!!

Just purchased tickets to the June 3 & 4 Cubs vs Padres games. Splurged on the Friday game since we're only paying $5 to picnic on Saturday. Curious parties should know that our tickets for Friday's game are in Section 121, Row 36, Seats 11-14. Now I'm trying to decide if I should buy some more tickets for the Thursday and Sunday games. Right field seats would suck, but there's always the chance for a HR ball. Also, those tickets are pretty cheap.

Continuing with the spending money trend, I eagerly await the arrival of my recently won Sharp Minidisc player. With it, I will be one step closer to the much anticipated audio blog. Soon, David Duchovny won't be the only one to be so cool.

I win again

My Yahoo mail account has swelled to a gig seemingly overnight. So "Ha ha" to all those out there who ran to get G-mail accounts! And don't tell me that the message thread format makes it all worthwhile. I've seen it, and it's not that cool.

Up yours.

Glistening

I failed to exercise self control. I am glistening now. Not with meat sweats but with meat juices. Gross, yes, but not utterly shameful. After all, you can wash off grease, but you can never rid yourself of having had the Meat Sweats. Although I am trying to foster understanding and a healthy attitude towards them, I must say I am relieved I didn't have them tonight. There's always tomorrow.

Possible Meat Sweats Alert!!!

Barbecue tonight. I'll try to contain myself, but I can make no promises.

First day of spring

It's overcast and cold in San Diego today. It almost feels like I'm back home in Chicago (or Toledo I guess) except that the wind hasn't threatened to toss me off the planet. Feeling nostalgic, I checked on Chicago's current weather. It's a good twenty degrees colder than it is here. The weather wussiness has begun.

Not used to working

Here comes the part of the day when I get so tired, I lose the will to even check my email. I think that all those months not doing anything made me weak. How sad is it that I can't even last through a 4 hour day? Might I become a coffee-drinker at the age of 24?

Hell no.

Herr Pope Benedict XVI

Does the election of a former member of the Hitler Youth to the papacy (is this a word?) herald an end to that infamous Catholic guilt? After all, if someone else can be forgiven and furthermore declared infallible after having been a Nazi, God's probably gonna forgive you for masturbating when you were sixteen. Or when you did it yesterday. Whatever.

Just how much confessing and penance do you have to do to allay bad karma over wartime atrocities? 50 Hail Mary's? 100?

No Comment...

Picture window of opportunity

My new job gave me an office even though I'm only gonna spend about five hours a week in there. It's not the cleanest place, but I have it all to myself. By far, the best feature is the large window that sits right in front of me. The glass is kind of reflecty, and a couple of people have checked themselves out without knowing that I sat watching directly three feet in front of them. This promises for good blog material.

Why I listen to the news

Today on my drive home, I tuned into the traffic report on my favorite San Diego radio station. The guy was giving the usual routine on the sad state of highway traffic around the city. What caught my attention was his explanation of some of the slower movement. "The Padres have just finished up a doubleheader against the Cubs, so expect traffic downtown to be backed up for awhile." Great job, dude. That helpful information could prevent a lot of headaches. However, that advice would probably be best given to those driving around Wrigleyville since those games were played in CHICAGO.

I think it's time I found a new favorite radio station.

Defeat

How was I able to make $808.08 within an hour on three PSP's? By returning them.

Pet Sounds

Traditionally, I've always disliked the Beach Boys. Before I moved to California, I couldn't fathom why the laidback lifestyle they promoted made for good song material. I took offense that their music served to make stupider those of us who might have been accidentally exposed to their inane lyrics. Now that I've experienced life in beautiful, sunny southern Californ-I-A, I still fucking hate the fucking Beach Boys.

The "Pet Sounds" that I prefer can be heard issuing daily from a house one street over from ours. Megan and I discovered it about a week ago, and it has truly brought joy to our lives. On the first Sunday evening after the Daylight Savings time change, as we were walking back from Balboa Park, we overheard a pair of squawking parrots. They were mimicking what was unmistakably the sounds of loud, aggressive sex. Especially nice was that each had his own part and strictly adhered to it. At one point in the exchange, as one repeatedly grunted in mimicked exertion, the other cawed out a gasped, "Oh God!" Hopefully, the children playing in the park next door didn't notice. Otherwise, someone might complain, and my favorite new radio program will be cancelled.

There are several questions that this raises. One being, how loud and frequent must you be before your parrots can accurately immitate your lovemaking? Another is what to do with your parrots once they've begun showcasing your private tendencies. You can't ever give them away for fear that some stranger would know what gets you off. Also, it'd be wrong to kill them just because of something you did. Maybe the best option is to do what these owners have done and cover the front of your house with a huge blanket and opt never to show your face in daylight. I guess I'll just have to keep wondering. After all, it's not like I can ring the doorbell and ask them. Maybe answers will be forthcoming from the secret-baring birds. Actually, I'm holding out for a "NOT ON THE SHEETS!"

It's official!

I've been officially offered the position of Assistant Biosafety Coordinator at UCSD. It's a part time position that pays roughly $19 an hour and gives full benefits. I begin work on Tuesday. Now the goal is to come up with a second job that takes advantage of the 20 free hours per week I'll have. This job must be very enjoyable or very profitable or both. I suppose I could keep working for the Princeton Review. Whatever. Your suggestions are welcome.

Speaking of mad profits, my eBay scheme is almost at an end. I posted all but one of my PSP's yesterday, and the auctions are closing as I type. As it looks right now, I stand to make little to no profit on this venture. Of course, some buyer could screw me over and either not pay, or pull a Paypal scam on me. However, I would not be opposed to traveling great distances to break thumbs and/or kneecaps. After all, I'm only working 20 hours a week.

Those sweet rewards

I've tallied up my profits from the sale of 1 Sony PSP. And yes, I said "profit". Unlike my earlier worried prediction, I have come out ahead so far. After eBay's fees, Paypal's fees, taxes and shipping costs, I have made a profit of $2.07. Let's hope that the luck continues to be good as I've listed another one of these damned things. Let the good times roll.

Birthday Fool

Happy birthday to expatriot extraordinaire Jake! Jake, you're 24 now. I knew you'd probably "forget". Go out drinking in true Muslim style, big guy.