Professor Jed

Man, that Rj sure does whine a lot. But, and let this be a lesson to all, sometimes excessive whining pays off. Therefore, I'm making him this week's winner. Although, mainly it's because his post was mainly an homage to me. That's another lesson. Suck up to me and you'll go places.

Sometimes it's better not to know...

Somebody informed me that my blog is the top result when you type in the phrase "Rebecca Jarvis in pain".

Go ahead, try it out. It's grand.
Google Result

Actually, that "somebody" was site meter, which I added to my blog, and which has fueled my blog-obsession. Somebody in Malaysia Googled R.J.I.P. and came across the Meatsweats. So, Rebecca Jarvis be warned: Somebody in Malaysia wants you dead. Or he wants to do unspeakable things to himself while viewing you in agony. I don't know...Oh God...I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!

This could actually be a little fun though. Lessee who else we can draw in to my boring little web? Who can I dupe into reading my daily drivel instead of getting their jollies?

REBECCA JARVIS BAKING COOKIES LIKE A NAUGHTY VOODOO PRIEST
REBECCA JARVIS TAP DANCING SKILLFULLY FOR CROWD OF CLOWNS


Bring it on, you sickos.

Make Deepak's Day

Poor Deepak Sevak. He's just hungry for news about the class of '02. Apparently, we're just not a noteworthy bunch of alumni. No Becky Jarvis's in our year, and just what the hell has that Anna Chlumsky done recently anyway? No, it's up to us to make better both his day and, by extension, the UChicago magazine.

Unfortunately, I can't think of any news to send in to Mr. Sevak. So I leave it to you. I will submit as fact, whatever news byte properly conveys the whirlwind that is my life. For instance: JK, AB'02, ate a rather underripe banana last Friday and had to endure two hours with an extra-starchy tongue. Or whatever. Don't let Deepak down! I've already written a number for some fellow alums that have yet to be printed. RJW, AB'02, has further refined his artistic talents since graduating. His latest work, a gigantic plaster and steel reproduction of his own remarkable gonads is now on display in the Smithsonian. Visitors to the DC area are encouraged to stop by and meet with the young artist, who is giving daily walking tours of his magnificent nads.

Ah, Robert Jules Williamson... How I miss that rapscallion!

Belated

I missed my blog birthday. You did too. Oh well. I guess plenty of things have changed in a year, but not in any major life-affirming way. I no longer work for the Princeton Review (but try telling that to those pushy bastards!), but I'm still not getting paid to do what I really want. In fact, I'm trying to line up another unpaid internship... I'm pretty sure I post a lot less than I did at the beginning, but no big loss there.

How about some blog stats?

122 posts (including this one)
Averaging one post every 3.3 days
Most prolific blogging month: April 2005, with 17 posts
Laziest blogging month (not including this one): November 2005, with 5 posts
Most comments on a post: 13 on 7/19/05

For my meatsweats birthday, I'm going to put up a site meter, just like Rj did. Because I'm not as narcissistic as I wanna be.

Breakin' the rules

They said the Koreans weren't supposed to beat the US last night

but they did


I volunteered at a PBS station last night. They told me not to be late

but I was


They had a big screen television tuned to PBS that I wasn't supposed to change to the baseball game

but I did


Mort was a seventy-year-old volunteer who answered phones next to me. In a lull between phone calls, he told me, "I got one rule: don't touch my mouse! don't touch my keyboard! and don't touch MY PENIS!!"

sorry Mort

FIGHTING!!!

KOREEEAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheer squad

GIMME A "J"

JAAAAYY!!

GIMME AN "O"

OOOOOHH!!

GIMME A "B"

BEEEEEE!!!

RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

Lazy post

First off, this old Onion article is eerily appropriate to our apartment situation:
Couple Upstairs Going At It Again
Added 3/3/06 - our neighbors were at it again at 5:30 this morning.


Next, some foreign-language Peanuts cartoons that I got off the Peanuts website:

German

I just like how it looks in German.

Portuguese

For this strip, I've included the English translation.


Clearly, the Portuguese thought it was funnier just to have Snoopy swear. I now believe the Portuguese are among the funniest people on the planet.


Finally, some rather wonderful snippets from Overheard in New York.

Chick on cell: It's a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can't use that refrigerator ever again.


and...

Chick: I'd do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn't. Not even if you were stoned and drunk.